When it comes to going the extra mile, most of us tend to gravitate towards two extremes. On one end, we have burnout - the person who tries to do it all, to be everything to everyone, until they're stretched so thin that they can no longer give. On the other hand, we have the detached - the one who plays it safe and avoids getting too invested or involved for fear of becoming overwhelmed.
Neither of these approaches is particularly healthy or effective. The burnout ends up exhausted and resentful, while the detached misses out on the profound impact they could have. So, is there a better way?
Introducing the Third Way: Doing for One
Enter the third way, the secret to going the extra mile. Andy Stanley summarizes it beautifully: “Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.”
Let that sink in for a moment. Instead of trying to be all things to all people or closing yourself off entirely, what if you chose to focus your time, energy, and resources on making a meaningful difference in the life of just one person? This doesn't mean you have to ignore everyone else, but it does mean prioritizing depth over breadth.
The Power of Depth Over Breadth
When we try to go the extra mile for everyone, we often end up spreading ourselves too thin. We might touch the lives of many, but the impact is often fleeting and difficult to measure. But when we choose to go deep with one person, we have the opportunity to make a lasting, transformative difference.
Think about it this way: as a pastor, I can't possibly counsel 16 different couples at once. But I can make a profound impact on one or two couples, really investing in their lives and walking alongside them through their struggles. The same principle applies to any area of life - whether it's volunteering, mentoring, or simply being a supportive friend.
The Long-Term Approach
Another benefit of the "do for one" mindset is that it allows us to take a long-term approach. Instead of just offering a quick fix or a one-time gesture, we can commit to being there for someone over the long haul. We can say, "I'm going to be with you in this until it's resolved. My concern for you doesn't end when you walk out my door or when we get off the phone."
This long-term investment is crucial for true, lasting change. It's not about just writing a check or showing up for a few minutes – it's about walking alongside someone, offering your time, your energy, your very self, for as long as they need it.
The Gift of Time
And speaking of time, that's another key aspect of the "do for one" approach. So often, we default to giving money or material resources when we want to help someone. But sometimes, what people need most is our time and attention.
When we choose to go deep with one person, we're able to give them the gift of our undivided presence. We can listen without distraction, offer counsel without rushing, and truly be there for them in a way that can't be replicated by a financial donation or a quick visit.
The Ripple Effect
But the beauty of the "do for one" approach doesn't end there. Because when we make a meaningful difference in the life of one person, that impact has the potential to ripple out and touch countless others.
Imagine a scenario where you pour your heart and soul into supporting a struggling single mom. She's able to get back on her feet, find stability, and then pay that kindness forward by helping another family in need. The initial investment you made in that one person has now multiplied, spreading love and hope throughout the community.
The Importance of Discernment
Of course, the "do for one" approach doesn't mean we should abandon all sense of discernment. We still need to be wise in how we allocate our time and resources, and there may be times when we need to say no in order to maintain healthy boundaries.
But the key is to avoid falling into the trap of "fairness" – the idea that if we do something for one person, we have to do it for everyone. That kind of rigid thinking will only lead to burnout or disengagement. Instead, we can trust that by pouring into one life at a time, we're making a lasting difference in a way that's sustainable and Spirit-led.
The Invitation to Go Deeper
So, my friends, I invite you to consider this third way of going the extra mile. Instead of trying to do it all or withdrawing entirely, ask yourself: "Who is the one person I can make a tangible difference in right now?" And then commit to doing for them what you wish you could do for everyone.
It might be mentoring a young person, supporting a struggling family, or simply being a faithful friend to someone in need. Whatever it is, I can promise you that the impact will be profound – not just for the person you're serving, but for your own heart and soul as well.
When we choose to go deep instead of wide, to invest in one life rather than spreading ourselves thin, the effects can be truly transformative. That single act of love and service has the power to change the trajectory of someone's life, and in doing so, it has the potential to ignite a spark that spreads throughout the community.
Imagine if every person in this church, in this community, made the commitment to "do for one what they wish they could do for everyone." The amount of love, support, and tangible help that would flow through our midst would be staggering. Broken lives would be mended, struggling families would find stability, and the light of Christ would shine brighter than ever before.
The Invitation to Embrace the Third Way
My friends, the choice is ours. We can continue to chase the elusive goal of fairness, trying in vain to do the same for everyone. Or we can embrace the third way, the secret to going the extra mile that Paul presents to us. We can choose to pour our time, our energy, and our very selves into making a measurable, lasting difference in the life of one person.
It may feel counterintuitive at first, but I can assure you that this path is the one that leads to true fulfillment, joy, and the kind of community-transforming impact that we all long for. So, I invite you to take that first step, to identify the one person you can truly go the extra mile for. And watch as the ripple effects of that act of love change the world, one life at a time.